


A Little Known Fact

by Cydippe



Category: Supernatural
Genre: 8.17, Angst, Blood, Death, Episode: s08e17 Goodbye Stranger, Goodbye Stranger, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-09
Updated: 2013-11-10
Packaged: 2018-01-01 00:17:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 1,194
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1038080
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cydippe/pseuds/Cydippe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A story of Castiel and Dean, blood, being forced to do things you don't want to, love, and two little known facts.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Too Much of Anything

Here is a small fact I have just calculated, in an attempt to take my mind off of the man in front of me:  
I have had to clean Jimmy Novak's coat a total of 1,456 times. It is unhygenic to wear a dirty coat, and it is often soaked in blood.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the first Fanfic I've written. It's kind of oddly written - all the chapters are pretty short, some might be only a few sentences, like this one. I'm not sure how long it's gonna be, but since each one is so short, it shouldn't take too long.  
> Er, if you have any feedback for me, I would love it. Even if it's negative.  
> Thanks!


	2. The First Five Times

Naomi had given me clear instructions.   
The first Dean was kind.  
With disappointment in his voice, he had asked me where I had been, why the hell I hadn't responded to his prayers. I put the angel blade back in my pocket. I gripped him, and with a quiet voice, I told him I loved him. He looked at me, his huge green eyes blinking. I took the moment, and when I stabbed him through the chest, his voice ripped across the room and bounced off the walls, echoing my name.  
Naomi pulled me aside, her voice kinder, but his voice still echoed in my head. She tortured me for fifteen days, but the whole time his voice was in my head, repeating my name. The guilt consumed me and I wished for a second angels could sleep, because that would be a way out.  
The second Dean had been less kind. I now believe this was due to Naomi's influence, but at the time, I knew he knew what I had done.  
It took me two hours. The first time I stabbed him, he begged me to stop with that voice. I looked down at him, and I could see the soul that Naomi had imagined up, beautiful and loud. It grounded me, and when he smiled at me, I wrapped my arms around him. When he breathed in the scent of my coat, which I suppose didn't smell like much anyway, I stabbed him through the back and caught his body as he fell. I held his human body while he cursed my very being.   
The third Dean knew my intentions, somehow. He tried to stop me, and I let him. Naomi stabbed me, and this time, Dean was the one who held me bloody while I cursed his very being.  
Naomi waited until I was just about to die until she healed me and then killed him in front of me. I screamed holy agony.  
The fourth Dean let me stab him after I told him the situation - he died instantly. It was a failure on Naomi's terms. She treated me appropriately.  
The fifth Dean ran, and I let him. The angel blade was cold through my chest, and Naomi had healed me anyway. She didn't torture me, as she knew it wouldn't work. Dean did, and it took longer, because I let him.  
I didn't say a single word the entire time.


	3. You Ain't Seen Nothing Yet

The thirtieth time, he cried.  
I don't remember if I had seen him cry before. I must have, but it felt like the first time. He had crumpled to his feet, and I knew it wasn't him, but the guilt was overwhelming. I remember that I hadn't known what to do, so I waited until he stopped before I killed him. His cheeks were still wet when he died, partially with blood and partially with tears. They mixed into a pale pink fluid, and I remember that I never cleaned it off his face, so it must have dried that way.  
The thirty-fifth time, I ran. Used my wings to escape, but Naomi found me. She used Enochian spellwork to bind me here, then there was no escape route.  
The fortieth time, I refused, plainly. I treated Dean as if he weren't there. She manipulated his form, and he cut off his own head. I watched, and I did nothing because it wasn't the real Dean.  
I began to pray to Dean, even though he couldn't hear me. It was an irony, an angel praying to a human, and I knew I had practically fallen already, so it didn't matter.  
The fiftieth time, I was the one who cried for the first time in my existence. Dean had given me a strange look, I think. Naomi found a new branch of torture that day - from then on, the Deans would not stop talking to me.  
The fifty-first Dean screamed until his throat was raw, and I killed him quietly.  
The fifty-second asked me what happened to family as he bled out on the floor, and I said nothing, again.  
The fifty-third tripped over the corpse of a second Dean and had a moment of panic before I killed him.  
The fifty-fourth tried to bargain to me with stories about our 'bond',  
The fifty-fifth tried to console me.  
It was the eighty-first Dean who made me realize that I no longer could tell the difference between these Deans and the real ones - their words stung the same, and I remembered them as his. I began to confuse memories of this with memories of the real one.  
The one hundredth Dean kissed me, and I kissed him back.


	4. Time Can Never Kill The True Heart

Remember your first kiss? It's a landmark for humans - something usually remembered as wonderful or horrible. Though, I'm under the impression the latter is usually in a bittersweet tense, so I guess they are all good.  
This wasn't my first kiss, but it didn't matter.  
His lips were gentle on mine, not rough, like I was with Meg. They were gentle, forgiving, begging, and I kissed him back, slowly. We kissed for what felt like centuries. Of course, it wasn't. But, when you get caught up in daydreams, they always feel that way.  
Naomi either wasn't watching or didn't care because she didn't interrupted until the end. The moment my lips fell off his, he dropped dead, a slap on the huge floor. The noise was loud, but it said something - you can not love him, and he will not love you back.  
I was sure that it was the real Dean, and I was grief-stricken.  
Two seconds later, another Dean showed up. He came around a corner, pointing a gun at me - that part was new. Dean had no gun before.  
I quietly wondered for a second how he was still alive.  
Then I slapped the gun from his hand, because I remembered the kiss - it wasn't real, nor was his death. It was all a fantasy, a murder done because I had no other choise. I struck him down, with force. He fell.  
"No, Cas. No!", is what he said, with that careful voice of his.  
He rose his hand toward me, so I broke his wrists. He groaned.  
"No, Cas, don't." I rose up my angel blade. "Please." I bury the blade into him, like a deep regret of a memory that you hide in your head. The memory of killing him over and over.  
He choked, and I pulled it out of him.  
Naomi was pleased.  
We were finished.  
Yes, both of us.


	5. Baby Don't You Do It

Here is a small fact I have just calculated, in an attempt to keep my mind on the man in front of me:  
I have killed Dean exactly 101 times. It is inhumane to do this, and they are soaked in blood.


End file.
